Thursday, June 23, 2011

1 year and 7 months later

Looking up to Heaven
Did I ever think I was going to get rid of the overwhelming sadness I felt with loosing Bo?  I thought for sure I would feel like this forever.  It's been 1 year and 7 months since he was sent to Heaven.  I think about how long ago that was and shake my head in disbelief.  Sometimes it feels like forever and other days it seems like yesterday.  Where does the time go? 
I lay in bed and right before I go to sleep, I whisper the words "Good night Bo, I love you."  I wait for his sigh.  Wishing.  Hoping. Just to hear it one more time.  But I only imagine what it sounded like.  Releasing his breath from a day's worth of playing. 
Sad thoughts still enter into my mind.  I quickly try to shake them away by only thinking of the good times.  Makes me feel sick to my stomach that it all actually happened.  Knowing he was sick and couldn't keep food or water down, we had to make that decision.  What eats away at me is the timing.  I think we did it at the right time.  I think my vet knew it was time.  But then thoughts of doubt enter my mind.  What if I waited just one more day.  Maybe he just had an upset stomach . . . or was it the cancer taking over?  God, I'll never know. That's the million dollar question.  The unknowing and second guessing myself eats me up sometimes.  I find myself saying, "I'm sorry Bo.  I did what I thought was right."  I look at photos of him 3 days before we made the decision.  He looked sad.  He kept to himself.  He didn't follow my nephew around like he always did.  This was Thanksgiving where he would be the life of the party with all his family  members.  But again, maybe he just had an upset stomach.  God, will I ever find peace with my decision?

I have found that talking with friends and strangers about dealing with loosing a pet has been healing. I became inspired to write in my blog today after emailing the wonderful person we bought Bo from, Connie Marabito.  She recently lost her Omar and is feeling overwhelmed with sadness.  As I wrote an email back to her, I wasn't sure what to say to make her feel better.  Then it came to me!  What did I do to help in the healing process of loosing Bo?  I thought about all the ways I memorialized Bo.  So I write them all down today to see how far I've come.  It's a journey of healing, that's for sure.  It's so cliche, but time does heal.  Actually, I think our memories become fuzzy, the day's activities take over and before you know it, it's 1 year and 7 months later.
  • Make up a yard sign.  When people walk past the house, they would see it and ask about Bo. It was good to talk about it. http://www.cafepress.com/
  • Find a photo of your pet that makes you happy. You can customize the picture at a photo center to look like an oil painting on canvas.
  • Write down your feelings.  This is why I started this blog. Yep, I cried through the whole thing, but that’s the start of healing.
  • I had custom license plates put on my car, 4 MY BO.
  • Bo's photo was placed in a calendar for canine cancer and proceeds went to help other owners seeking cancer treatment for their dogs. http://www.save-an-angel.org/
  • I also met with a pet grief counselor.
  • The coolest thing I did was have custom shoes made with Bo’s photo painted on them. http://www.theswanx.com/
  • I made a shrine with his photos, collars, tags, etc.
  • Cry and cry some more. It’s healing. Let it out.
There will never be another Bo Puster.  He was beyond special and a member of our family.  Everyone that knew Bo, loved him.  I hope he continues to smile in Heaven as he did on earth.  The squirrels still fear your wrath, Bo!


Oil painting on canvas








Yard sign

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Fun Photos of Bo

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Gazing over the pond in grandma and grandpa's woods.

Smile on Bo!


It's going to be 9 months since Bo went to Heaven. I really thought I would start to feel better about this.  Not sure if it's just plain grief and sadness or not having a pet in my life right now. 
I've decided to use this photo of him whenever I can only because this really shows his true outlook on life.  Always smiling and happy.  This someone brings a bit of peace to my life, but I miss him like crazy.
I've been working with Dancing Paws Animals Wellness Center in Richfield, OH to help find another puppy.  Stephanie has been great by emailing me once a week with leads.  My decision is totally sold on getting another Rottie only because of the cancer.  There's a 50/50 chance and I'm not sure I'm totally ready for that.  But then again, I'm not sure what I'm getting with a rescue/mixed breed either.  Of course I'll research all leads and we'll just see where it takes me.  In the meantime, I still struggle with acceptance with Bo's cancer.  My heart breaks.

How do you like my cool shoes?!  I found The Swanx on Facebook and thought this would be an awesome way to honor my baby.  And they're super comfy too!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My Decision to Treat With a Holistic Approach

There are many ways to treat a dog with cancer. When I was told that Bo had cancer on Tuesday, April 28, 2009, I was totally blown away. How could this happen to him? He was fed the best food, had to best care, always went to the vet on a regular basis and anything suspicious was always checked out by our vet. Plus, I had already experienced cancer with my first Rottweiler, Roxee. How could this happen a second time. My vet explained options to me- chemotherapy, radiation or do nothing and let him live his life out with the cancer. Not sure I even soaked up all that he was saying. My world came tumbling down as I sobbed with disbelief.

I had left work that morning and drove to my parent's house where Bo & I were staying. I had just sold my house the same week I received news about Bo. Talk about a mix of emotions! As I drove, I called my fiance first, then my parents and brothers. Everyone cried. When I arrived at their house, I held Bo and cried. Now he has no idea what is going on . . . he's just happy to see me. As I sit down on the chair, Bo does his usual thing which is to back up and sit on my knee; like a child. I held him as I cried still in denial of the news.

Two days of crying and not knowing what to do, I called my vet again and had him explain over and over again my options. He said he will probably live with this type of cancer for 2-4 months. Unbelievable, just unbelievable. How could this amazing animal leave me and everyone who loved him so soon. HOW???

As the third day approached, I headed for the library. I pulled out every book on treating cancer in dogs. Leaving with at least five books, the research began that night. The book that helped the most was Help Your Dog Fight Cancer/An Overview of Homecare Options featuring Bullet's Survival Story by Laurie Kaplan. Laurie shared her story on how she treated her dog Bullet's lymphoma with a homemade diet, supplements and great tips. As I read Laurie's book, I made notes on survival tips. The most important was to make sure Bo was getting a healthy diet to boost his immune system. I learned that cancer feeds off of carbs so a diet low in carbs and high in protein was so important. I compared homemade diets in other books and found Laurie's to be one of the best. She had pictures for each step and thorough explanations.

When I first started making Bo's homemade food, it took about 2 hours. Finely chopping veggies, browning the turkey, mixing and separating into sandwich bags. The whole house smelled like an Italian kitchen with all the garlic used! Over the months of preparing this, my mom helped bag the food. We would take it all outside on the patio table and invite Bo and Nemo (my parent's dog) to taste-test. Both doggies loved it which gave us the go-ahead to bag! I would scoop, mom would seal the bags and flatten them to be put into the freezer. This would be enough for at least 2 -2 1/2 weeks.

Bo's homemade recipe would change slightly each month. We sometimes browned organic chicken instead of turkey. Sometimes added broccoli, a beet or different kinds of dark greens. When I shopped at the farmer's market, I made sure to ask if they had used pesticides or any chemicals. I wanted to keep Bo's food as natural as possible and not to let anything interfere with keeping his immune system healthy.

Bo continued to eat the homemade food mixed with a high quality dog food. I like EVO Reduced Fat because it had the lowest carbs and highest protein. Plus, it was a great quality food. Mixing his homemade food with kibble made it last longer. I would soften his kibble with warm water because his cancer was in his jaw. Didn't want him to experience any pain as he gobbled down his food.

I talked with several dog food distributors. One person in particular was located north of where I live. She sold a couple types of kibble I was interested in. We talked on the phone and I made the trip up north to talk with her about canine cancer. I believe everyone comes into your life with a purpose.

When I arrived at her house (where she sold the dog food), she had me sit down to just talk.  I told her how overwhelmed I was reading through the books that talked about supplements, minerals, vitamins. It was all a bit overwhelming for someone who was just thrown into this.  As we talked, her phone rang.  She answered it, talking a bit and then said "yes, she's right here" and handed the phone to me.  This is the call the changed everything and took a load off of my shoulders. 

It was Stephanie from Dancing Paws Animal Wellness Center in Richfield, Ohio.  She took the time to talk to me about canine cancer.  I needed a professional's opinion as we started this journey to help Bo.  Stephanie said they treated dogs with cancer with acupuncture, chiropractic treatments along with vitamins and minerals. She even said there were candles lit in the rooms, water for the dogs in each room and soft music playing.  Really?? This was nothing like I had experienced before at a vet.  A whole new way of thinking!  What did I have to loose.  It sounded right up my alley.  I told her I would make an appointment for Bo when I got to work on Monday.  Sure enough, when I called, Stephanie answered the phone and gave me hope as I made the appointment.

As I made the 45 minute drive, I was excited, nervous and anxious as to what I would encounter at this new place.  Bo was just excited to take a ride.  When I walked in the door I was warmly greeted by a smiling staff, candles and soft music.   I met with Dr. Neil Sivula.  Now here's the cool thing I found it.  Dr. Sivula treated Bo's dad, Hemi, for spinal problems. He had treated Hemi for almost 2 years and Hemi did extremely well with treatments.  What were the odds I would end up in the same place??

Bo was treated with chiropractic treatments and mostly acupuncture every 2 weeks.  After a couple months, we would visit every 3-4 weeks for treatments.  Bo was given CAS Options which was in a tablet form.  It contained different types of mushrooms and other minerals to boost his immune system.  He was also given Constitutional Blend; a form of Essiac Tea.  I felt good giving Bo natural supplements, vitamins and minerals.  Nothing that was going to jeopardize his well-being or immune system.  And Bo seemed to really enjoy his treatments.  He always wagged his tail and was happy to see everyone.  He was quieter on the ride home.  Acupuncture has that effect I was told.

People are skeptic about acupuncture and chiropractic treatments for dogs.  Some people just don't believe in it.  It's not common in all vet offices.  I had read about these options in the books from the library.  Again, what did I have to loose.  It helps the body to heal itself.  Remember, my traditional vet gave Bo 2-4 months.  Bo lived 7 months and was very happy and "healthy" till the end.

Bo had cancer and we were not going to cure it.  I knew that. I never once thought of how much time, money and energy this was going to entail.  I didn't really know and it didn't matter.  He was my dear, loving pet child and I wanted to give Bo everything he needed to feel well and happy.  He had given me so much unconditional love, joy, amazing memories and a type of bonding that I may never experience from another pet quite like that again.

I'M GRATEFUL
I'm thankful and oh so grateful to you, Lord, for Bo.  I'm grateful to the staff at Dancing Paws Animal Wellness Center for caring for Bo.  I'm grateful to my parents for taking care of all Bo's needs (feeding him, giving him his meds) when I worked two jobs.  I'm grateful for the people that came into my life to point me in the right direction to care for Bo.  I'm grateful for all the friends that comforted me when Bo passed.  And I'm truly grateful for my fiance who loved Bo more than I ever knew; who cried with me, assured me that I was making the right decision and comforted me when we sent Bo to Heaven . . . he had always been there for Bo.  I'm grateful for Bo shining down on me everyday; my guardian angel; directing me to get the word out there to help other pet owners dealing with canine cancer.  I love you forever, Bo.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Remembering Bo Today

Today was the first time since we lost Bo that I walked the same route we used when I would visit my fiance.  About 5 years at this location. I wondered if people that used to come out of their houses or working in their yards would say something to me like "where's your dog" or "how's Bo".  But instead I walked in the sun after a very snowy weekend remembering all the pee stops he did along the way.  Actually it was too cold and too much snow on the ground for people to be outside.

The one thing I noticed about my walk today was that I walked fast.  Something I hadn't done in a very long time.  It reminded me of when Bo was young.  Bo walked slow.  He deserved to.  He walked with me almost everyday for most of his life at a fast pace.  The last 2-3 years he walked slower;  sniffing, keeping close by me and always panting. But if someone talked to me or made a comment about him during our walk, he would perk up and prance over to them.  He thought everyone loved big black Rottweilers!  I knew he was kind and loveable, but not everyone else thought that.

Even though he had bone cancer, I still did all the things he liked and was used to.  We still continued to walk every day.  Why not?  He wasn't sick . . . at least that's what he thought:).

Every day I look outside the picture window, where I live now, overlooking the park where he used to play.  Today I thought I would take a walk in honor of Bo.  There was sun and tons of snow . . . he loved eating the snow.  Running by piles of it scooping it up like a little bulldozer.  Almost 2 1/2 months after sending Bo to Heaven, I did the walk without crying.  Instead, thinking of him the entire time.  Wishing he could be by my side.  I know he smiled down on me.

I know what would have happened if he was still with us.  He would have run in the door, greeted his daddy sitting in his Lazeboy, breathe all over him, slobber and then back his butt up to him.  He'd then go the kitchen, drink his water and probably look at his food bowl as if to say "hellooooo, feed me!" 

That  W * A * L * K was for you, Bo!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Words of Encouragement


"Your Dog--"He is your friend, your partner, your defender. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him... to be worthy of such devotion.." Anonymous

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Recipe for Homemade Food

There are many recipes to help dogs with cancer. With the research I did in searching for books from the library and talking to my vet, there was one common finding. Lots of protein and low carbs- cancer feeds off of carbs. It is best to consult your vet before giving your dog any homemade recipe, vitamins, supplements, etc. Bo loved the homemade food and maintained his weight during his cancer fight.
He had originally lost 10 pounds. He was 138 before cancer and stayed at 128 throughout his 7 month fight. His coat was shiney and soft. But my main concern was to boost his immune system with this recipe. A healthy immune system helps fight cancer.
Remember, I personally decided to treat his cancer in a natural way. Each person dealing with pet cancer has their own views on this. I hope you are following along because you are interested in other options to treat your pet's cancer besides chemotherapy and radiation.

I also tried to buy organic vegetables without pesticides or chemicals.

This recipe is based on a 130 pound dog.

Bo's Healthy Eating Recipe- by Jodie
5lbs. Perdue turkey (5 packs). Not lean turkey. More fat the better.
3-4 stalks celery
3 organic tomatoes
Handful of Brussels sprouts or a small head of cabbage
Broccoli head
Large handful of green beans
Handful of dark, leafy greens
4 eggs
5 teaspoons garlic from the jar or 5 fresh garlic cloves crushed
1 Tablespoon of fresh rosemary, ground
1/3 cup hulled flaxseeds

Cook turkey and do not drain fat. After cooking turkey add garlic, raw egg yolks, rosemary and flaxseeds. Mix.
Steam green beans, tomatoes, brussel sprouts, celery, leafy greens & broccoli. Chop finely & add to turkey mixture. (Dogs can not digest raw veggies).
Cook egg whites & add to turkey mixture.
Stir all and add about 1 cup of mixture to a zip lock sandwich bag. Pat bags flat.
Store bags in the freezer.
Thaw 2 bags overnight in the fridge for the next morning’s meal.

Added benefits: Add a Tablespoon of fresh parsley, a couple Tablespoons of cottage cheese or organic yogurt and 1 1/4 teaspoons of Carlson Fish Oil for each feeding on top of homemade food. Lemon flavor is fine.

Add dry kibble to homemade food such as Orijen 6 Fish or EVO Reduced Fat. Both have low carbs and high protein which is good for cancer dogs. Cancer feeds off of carbs!

Bo was given this mixture twice a day. The mixture makes about 20-24 bags of food.

Supplements added to homemade and dry food:
1 teaspoon (twice a day) of Vitamin C powder.
5 drops (twice a day) of pure Vitamin E oil.
1 tablet (twice a day) of L-Arginine.
Several drops of Constitutional Blend (twice a day) (purchased from Dancing Paws Wellness Center in Richfield, OH). It’s similar to Essiac Tea.
CAS Options tablets- 3 a day. (Dancing Paws Wellness Center).
Hoxsey & Boneset Liquid Herb (Dancing Paws Wellness Center).
Cosequin Double Strength tablet once a day to maintain joints/cartlidge.

These web sites helped as I did research for my cancer dog. There are many more out there, but these were some of my favorites.

http://www.wearethecure.org/
www.curecaninecancer.org
http://www.evopet.com/products/default.asp?id=1492
http://www.caninecancer.com/essiac.html
http://www.dancingpawsawc.com/site/view/140375_Home.pml
www.rottweiler.net
www.dogaware.com
www.nasc.cc